The Mean Reds

I'm having a Holly Golightly ("Breakfast at Tiffany's" [I'm obsessed]) moment right now. Ugh. It's the Mean Reds. The Mean Reds are different that the Blues because when you have the Blues, you are just plain sad, but when you have the Mean Reds, you are afraid, and you don't know what you're afraid of. For me, I can pick apart almost all of my individual fears like monkey bread, but there are so many of them they all sort of morph into a vast glob of trepidation which I can't chew through. However, I also know that this is the adversary trying to make me feel inferior and like I don't have the power to choose how I feel about myself. The most difficult part of being human is having parts of you that you know can be better but require patience, and you will never be perfect. That's where I know I must push away my pride and let Christ in and let him make up the rest after I've done my all.